Objectives and stationery

The whole roadmap, and everything in the cupboard. None of it will help you as much as you think.

An objective is what you are racing for. They are bought from the Board for 12 SV, or 16 if the Board are off site that quarter, and the first employee to sign off the whole roadmap wins. Every game deals a fresh roadmap from the list below, so the same twenty-four objectives never come up in the same order twice.

What you will notice reading them is that not one of them is a thing. They are all statements about a thing having happened. That is the joke and it is also the design: the game never lets you build anything, only announce that something has been built.

The roadmap: all 24 objectives

Objective	What it actually means
SYNERGIES REALISED	Two teams that hated each other now hate each other in one channel.
HEADCOUNT OPTIMISED	The work did not decrease. The people did.
DIGITAL TRANSFORMATION	The spreadsheet is now in the cloud. It is the same spreadsheet.
CULTURE EMBEDDED	A poster. In the stairwell. With a mountain on it.
AGILE AT SCALE	Nine ceremonies, one deliverable, zero agility.
COST BASE RATIONALISED	The good biscuits are gone. Forever.
CUSTOMER OBSESSION	The phone line now takes 40 minutes to answer, but warmly.
OPERATING MODEL REFRESHED	Everyone reports to someone new and nobody knows who.
AI-FIRST STRATEGY	Nobody can say what it does. The share price moved 4%.
OFFSHORE CAPABILITY BUILT	Your work now happens in a timezone that hates you.
STAKEHOLDER ALIGNMENT	Eleven people agreed to disagree later, in a bigger room.
PROCESS EXCELLENCE	The form is now four forms. Each one is shorter.
WELLBEING INITIATIVE LAUNCHED	A fruit bowl, a webinar, and no change to your workload.
PORTFOLIO SIMPLIFIED	Three products died so a fourth could be announced.
MARGIN EXPANSION DELIVERED	Same box, 12% less in it, new font.
GLOBAL BEST PRACTICE ADOPTED	We now do it the way the American office does it. Badly.
SINGLE SOURCE OF TRUTH	The fifth single source of truth. This one is final.
RETURN TO OFFICE MANDATED	Three days a week, for the collaboration, in headphones.
SUPPLY CHAIN DE-RISKED	One supplier became one different supplier, further away.
BRAND REPOSITIONED	The logo lost its serifs. £1.4m. Worth it.
GOVERNANCE STRENGTHENED	A new committee to oversee the committees.
SHAREHOLDER RETURN MAXIMISED	A buyback. Instead of the pay review. Obviously.
FUTURE-READY WORKFORCE	Everyone completed a 12-minute module and remembers none of it.
END-TO-END VISIBILITY	A dashboard nobody opens, in a tab nobody closes.

The stationery cupboard

Land on the cupboard and you take one item. You can hold 3 at a time, and an item is used on your own turn, before you roll. They are the only part of the game where you get to be the one doing something to somebody else.

Item	What it does
OVERTIME AUTHORISATION	Roll two dice this turn. Costs you a little of yourself. You gain a point of burnout. Roll 2 dice this turn.
GOLDEN HANDCUFFS	Take 8 SV from any one colleague. They agreed to this in writing. You take up to 8 SV from the player you pick. You choose who it lands on.
SUDDEN REORG	Report immediately to wherever the Board is sitting. Ends your move. You are sent to the Board.
HR COMPLAINT (FILED)	One colleague is suspended pending investigation. They miss a turn. The player you pick misses 1 turn. You choose who it lands on.
CREATIVE EXPENSES	+12 SV. The receipts are in a drawer somewhere. You gain 12 SV.
OUT OF OFFICE	Ignore the next bad thing aimed at you. You simply weren't reachable. Ignores the next bad thing aimed at you.
DESK SWAP	Swap places on the floor with a colleague of your choosing. You swap places on the board with the player you pick. You choose who it lands on.
ANNUAL LEAVE (APPROVED)	Three days off. Burnout down by 3. You will still check emails. You shed 3 burnout.

Where this fits

The rules for buying, for burnout and for the round-end activity are on how it works. Every card in both event decks is on the memo reference. What to actually do with all of it is on the strategy guide.